Deputy Jonathan "Scott" Pine will be remembered on Saturday with a viewing and funeral services. As the community is mourning the loss of a hero killed in the line of duty, a family in Virginia is shocked and saddened by events from earlier this week.
FOX 35 spoke with Ellen Holtermann, the mother of the gunman who killed Deputy Pine.
"I'm still I think in shock and I haven't gotten my mind around it yet, because this is not how it was supposed to end," she said from her Virginia Home.
She tells FOX 35 that she had no idea where her 28-year-old son Benjamin was until her phone rang early Tuesday morning. An investigator called to tell her that her son Ben had just shot and killed Deputy Jonathan "Scott" Pine moments before killing himself.
"I am filled with sorrow and regret about the death of the deputy. My heart goes out to his family and his co-workers," said Ellen Holtermann.
As for her son Ben, "We lost him a long time ago. But memories of Ben, this has brought lot of that back. He was such a funny little guy. So full of life and mischief. And he was so gifted. I mean he was brilliant. He had a very high IQ. He was very artistically talented and to have that all wasted because of drugs is very sad. And to never now have the opportunity for him to come to his senses," said Ellen.
At times during the interview she stopped talking, she could be heard trying to collect her thoughts as she tried not to cry. Ellen Holtermann says she discovered her son had a drug problem around the age of 17. She says when he was in treatment she found out that he started dabbling in drugs as a young teen. Ellen says 10 years ago, Ben cut his family off, choosing a life of drugs and crime over them.
"I would hear from him rarely. On occasion. But he was really rapped up in the drugs and the excitement of crime. The high, the adrenaline rush. I think was all really a big thing for him," said Ellen Holtermann.
Deep down Ellen Holtermann said she always thought her son would wake up one day and decide to turn his life around and lead the life she raised him to live.
"As a mother, a mothers hearts even when their children do wrong things, they still love their children, their kids you know," said Ellen Holtermann. "I don't know if you have children, but you never imagine, your child to have done something like this. It's like cutting out your heart and to have done it and to have done something so horrendous, to take somebody else's life….We value life. We appreciate the police. We respect what they do. He was taught so much more, better than this. He was raised so much better than this," said Ellen as her voice was cracking.
Several times Ellen Holtermann said she couldn't stop thinking about the 3 young children who no longer have a father, and a young widow who's husband was taken too soon.