75% of parents say their current relationship with their adult children is better now than when their kids were young. But even a good relationship can have its pitfalls. How do you tactfully explain to your parents they are being overbearing?
Psychologist Dr. Stacey Dunn said parents often have an inability to let go. Especially moms have a hard time transitioning into a new role after being a nurturer.
Dr. Dunn said as kids grow, their relationship with their parents should parallel. They should become more independent. But having this type of relationship is a two-way street.
She said both parents and adult children need to take a roll in creating the relationship both of them want to have. It is important to treat each other like people.
As children, Dr. Dunn said we often hear well-meaning advice as criticism. She said instead we should recognize it as love, because our parents still want the best for us.
Adults, she said, need to learn how to be supportive instead of overbearing. It is still important for them to be there when their children ask for help.
The best way to accomplish this type of relationship is to have a conversation about setting boundaries. Dr. Dunn said this can seem like a difficult conversation, but if you start by sharing how much you care about and love each other, and then transition into how negative aspects of your relationship make you feel, it can be painless.